I had amnesia once—or twice.
Protons have mass? I didn’t even know they were Catholic.
All I ask is a chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.
If the world were a logical place, men would be the ones who ride horses’ sidesaddle.
What is a “free” gift? Aren’t all gifts free?
They told me I was gullible... and I believed them.
Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.
One nice thing about egotists: they don’t talk about other people.
My weight is perfect for my height—which varies.
I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not so sure.
The cost of living hasn’t affected its popularity.
How can there be self-help “groups”?
Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I’ll show you a man who can’t get his pants on.
Is it my imagination, or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?
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